![]() Still, sex within the confines of a heterosexual marriage is good, perfect, and life-giving (e.g., remember your youth pastor mentioning his great marital sex with his smoking hot wife?). While sex itself is not sinful, physical intimacy and sex outside of marriage threatens one’s life and salvation. Purity culture’s central argument claims “any sexual interaction before heterosexual marriage is not only sinful but also physically and psychologically dangerous, primarily to adolescent girls,” according to researcher Elizabeth Gish. I learned I needed to be saved from my desires and help save others from theirs, and the way to that salvation was to dress modestly, not engage with secular media, and save myself for some prince charming far in my future.įor me and many others, purity culture deeply influenced the way I view myself, my sexuality, and my relationships with others, creating a harmful cycle of shame and need for salvation.Īt the core of the purity movement is a specific definition of sex: Sex is a gift from God reserved for men and women who are created as sexual beings in the context of heterosexual marriage. I learned my body was a stumbling block for all the boys and men in my life and it was my responsibility to protect them. That weekend, I learned to be ashamed of my desires for a relationship, as well as emotional and physical intimacy. Children are taught that their body is not their own, that God wants them to be virgins when they get married to their future partner, and that sex is a beautiful thing within the confines of heterosexual marriage and a sin in every other context. This agreement concluded a weekend trip with my mom, my friends, and my friends’ moms where we (supposedly) learned everything God had to say about sex, relationships, and purity.Ĭhristian sexual education programs like Passport to Purity center around the same idea: sexual purity. I’ve recommended this program to a number of my good friends.At thirteen years old, I signed a contract, swearing to my parents I wouldn’t date until they decided I was ready. In fact, I explained menstruation to my daughter while we were sitting on a pavement waiting at a bus stop. I want them to be topics that are covered in everyday conversation. I don’t want these talks to be a ‘big deal’. I prefer to educate my children as we go along in little bits and pieces. I think it’s a lovely idea, and I think it especially could work for parents who can take the time to do this, and who want a structured approach to teaching these topics. So on a personal note, this program isn’t one for me. ![]() As the authors says, taking the weekend to do this gives your child the meta message that this topic and that they themselves are very important to you. With a workbook, instructions, video footage, you are essentially getting taught together. The bigger benefit I think is that the program does the work for you. It seems to me that the benefit of taking a weekend with your preteen is the bonding time you get together, and the time you get to work through this material on sexuality in a non-rushed environment. Writing your child this note is very intentional, and I can imagine it might be something that they revisit during their teen years or later in life. Another exercise includes giving your child a journal, that includes notes from both their parents. ![]() I like the idea of this project, as it shows gives your child an overview of their development and sets the stage to talk about the stage they are about to go through. One of them includes collecting photos from your child’s different developmental stages. The program also includes doing projects together that make up object lessons. Topics covered include peer pressure, sex and dating. You do a special activity to have fun, but also spend the weekend working through the material. So essentially, as a parent you plan for a weekend away with your preteen. It looks like it’s been written for families with a Christian worldview, as it encourages prayer, has scripture integrated throughout and takes a biblical view on sexuality. It is a weekend Getaway Kit to work through with your preteen child. Review of Passport to Purity: A Weekend Program for Parents and Preteens by Kathryn de Bruin and Mariah McQueenĭennis and Barbara Rainey came up with a program called Passport to Purity.
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